


Words Don't Come Easy

by thathoeoverthere



Category: Mamamoo
Genre: A Bit of Fluff, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24947635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thathoeoverthere/pseuds/thathoeoverthere
Summary: The times when Yongsun should’ve confessed and that one time she didn’t.
Relationships: Kim Yongsun | Solar/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Words Don't Come Easy

Yongsun hates to talk about her age. In her class in high school, she was a year older than everyone else. No one minded it though, and it was enough for her. However, Yongsun hates it more when people who she knows are younger than her exclude honorifics when they call her. She still valued respect over everything else. So when her sophomore year came and a transferee addressed her so casually, she couldn’t hold herself back from asserting her dominance.

The transferee was obviously taken aback by Yongsun’s snappy attitude, and awkwardly apologizes for mistaking her as someone younger. They never exchanged anything more than glances after that. And though Yongsun inwardly felt complimented by the transferee’s remark, she would never actually admit that to anyone.

———

When their senior year came, everyone in their class were told to “buddy up” for their class picture. Yongsun somehow finds herself standing behind the sophomore transferee, named Moon Byulyi, after being shoved further in the back. Not that she didn’t mind since she could still be seen, but when the photographer instructed them to act friendlier with one another and immediately starts counting down, Yongsun doesn’t know what to do and acts on impulse—which was to hug the person right in front of her.

She felt Moon Byulyi tense at the sudden contact, nonetheless, kept silent about it. Once the photoshoot was done, the two 16 year old teenagers eyed each other awkwardly with Yongsun being the first one to pull away.

———

Graduation came and it was time to say good bye to their class. Yongsun passes her dream school and is looking forward to attending her first year of college at SKKU*.

However, before she could even leave the venue, she heard someone yell her name. Out of instinct, Yongsun turns around and sees Moon Byulyi jogging towards her.

“Did you need something, Moon Byulyi-ssi?” Yongsun asks. The younger girl grimaced at the name. “You sound so formal, unnie. Byulyi is fine.” She says, grinning at Yongsun.

Unsure of how to react, Yongsun bites her lower lip instead. Byulyi notices this, and goes on to apologize for being thoughtless and disrespectful during their first meeting.

“I’m afraid we started off the wrong.. foot?” Byulyi announces, then proceeds to stretch her hand for Yongsun to accept as she continued her statement. “Anyway, I’d love it if we become friends, unnie. You know, since we’re graduating and all.”

Yongsun reluctantly accepts Byulyi’s hand and shook it. She didn’t miss the way the younger girl’s face lit up at the action and thought that she looked cute with that dopey smile stretched across her lips.

———

Their friendship grew stronger over the years, and even with college in the way, they still managed to allot time for each other. Suddenly, the nights that Yongsun usually spent alone in her apartment became evenings that was filled with movie nights and sleepovers. 

Yongsun isn’t one to initiate skinship, but whenever she was with Byulyi, she could not help but to crave for the younger girl’s touch and embrace.

Yongsun thinks that this is because the younger girl was always by her side that she’s grown so used to it by now, and it starts to feel weird when she’s not around. Sometimes when Byulyi wouldn’t hug her, she would somehow find a way for the other girl to hug her or sometimes, she would even do it herself.

Years ago, she would’ve thought that this was disgusting. But at this moment—as they watched a drama, snuggling against each other with Byulyi’s hands scratching her head in a gentle, rhythmic pattern, Yongsun felt something warm and fuzzy settle in the pit of her stomach and spread throughout her body. It was a new feeling for her, yet, it also felt as if this were something that she could get used to. She decided that she wants to spend her evenings like this: enveloped in warmth.

———

Yongsun wasn’t clingy nor does she take compliments well, but she secretly loved it when Byulyi shamelessly threw greasy comments here and there.

She would deflect it; say that Byulyi was being weird and crazy, but would find a way to subtly fish more compliments from the younger woman anyway.

Sometimes she thinks that maybe she was the weird one.

———

Yongsun is clever but dense. There are times when even obvious things should have been noticed by now, but remains incognizant about it. It was why she earned that nickname from Byulyi after all: _Yeba_ , she'd liked to call Yongsun, or in simpler terms, a pretty fool. 

It’d take her big drop of implications before she eventually takes a hint. It's not that she wants to ignore it on purpose. In fact, she'd pick up the hints; notice them, but she would always deflect these thoughts, killing any light of hope in the process. Take her relationship with Byulyi as an example. 

Sometimes, Yongsun would see the adoration in Byulyi's twinkling eyes. She would feel that pull everyone talked about in books, would hear the care in Byulyi's voice. The greasy jokes sometimes didn't feel like jokes anymore. As if there was something more to it. As if she wanted more from their relationship. But Yongsun would shrug it off, thinking that she was just mistaken and that nothing is actually confirmed until Byulyi says so herself. 

She doesn’t know when it started for her; when she began tossing and turning in her bed, her head filled with scrambled thoughts of her best friend and a giddy feeling in her tummy that always kept her up at night. When her heart would always pick up a quicker pace with the things that Byulyi did or said. When even just the sight of the said woman was enough to make her feel some kind of contentment. It finally hit her when Byulyi crashed in her apartment for a sleepover that Friday night.

When Yongsun found herself absorbing every feature on Byulyi’s face as she slept. She never noticed that Byulyi had a similar beauty mark like hers, situated under her brow only, Byulyi’s mole was on the left side of her face. Her face looked so serene, and Yongsun dared to say that her best friend was, in fact, beautiful, even in the dark.

Suddenly, she heard her best friend’s low voice echo in the room. “Keep staring and you might just fall in love with me.”

Yongsun swears she could hear the smirk in her voice. But that wasn’t what caught her attention.

 _Fall in love_. That was it.

And when it finally dawned in on her, Yongsun felt a myriad of emotions and amongst them was fear. And at that same moment, Yongsun wishes she never realized it.

———

Yongsun is an expressive person, however, she isn’t vocal. She was the type to show than to tell, and with all the time that they’ve spent together until now, Byulyi learned how to read the older woman like an open book.

It’s not like she was hard to read, Yongsun was also terrible at lying. At times that she wished she looked and sounded convincing, her eyes, tone, and gestures would give her away.

Here they were, fighting for the nth time in their senior year because Yongsun was jealous—not that she would ever admit that out loud, but the feeling isn’t exactly pleasant for her as well. However, she could feel that this was going to be their worst fight yet. Primarily because Yongsun kept dodging, and it wasn’t something for them to do as they always address their problems with each other head on. But not this.

She felt weird, uncomfortable, and stressed. And the way Byulyi’s grilling her with questions right now isn’t helping either. She hoped that the younger would take a hint if she showed that she didn’t want to talk about it at all, but of course, Byulyi isn’t Byulyi if she doesn’t pester her about her recent behavior.

“You’ve been acting very weird recently, unnie. Seriously, what is wrong?” Byulyi probes, her brows knitting together.

Annoyed, Yongsun snaps, “Nothing’s wrong!”

Byulyi answers with a scoff as she rolled her eyes at Yongsun. “Unnie, when you say nothing’s wrong, there’s like, a hundred percent chance that something _is_ wrong.” She pauses, staring directly into Yongsun’s eyes. “I just wish you’d tell me.” And with that, her features softened, making Yongsun sigh in defeat.

“It’s nothing, Byul-ah. It’s stupid. Nothing worth your time.” She says. And it was, in fact, stupid. They were at a party after all—meaning, they were meant to mingle with other people.

And though she was the one who encouraged Byulyi to meet other people, Yongsun feels ashamed to admit that she was stupid to feel childish things such as jealousy. That party was meant as an effort to push Byulyi away, so that it wouldn’t be harder for Yongsun to move on from her crush. But her plan backfired on her when she saw all those people—all those girls, that Byulyi entertained, and all she wanted to do back then was pull Byulyi closer to her.

“It’s not nothing when you’ve been avoiding me for a week now, Yongsun. You’re not exactly as subtle as you think.” Byulyi says seriously. “What happened at that party?”

Yongsun sometimes hates it that Byulyi was observant. She notices too many things, even the minuscule details. Was there really a way to get around this without having to speak? With a sigh, she finally faces Byulyi. She opens her mouth to speak and closes it again when she finds the words caught in her throat. She hopes that her eyes would speak volumes for Byulyi to take a hint, instead, Byulyi sees something else.

“Was there someone in particular that you didn’t like who I talked to at the party?” Byulyi asks carefully. Yongsun gapes at that question.

“What?” She scoffs out, tensed. “You have that look in your eye when I talk to people you claim you don’t like.” Byulyi answers immediately. Yongsun wasn’t sure how to reply to that. Other people might say that this would be the time for her to come clean and confess, but she holds it back. And after a moment of silence, Byulyi sighs.

“Look, whoever it was, I’m sorry if it upset you.” She says. Yongsun shakes her head. She didn’t like it when Byulyi took the blame in their fights. It wasn’t her fault that Yongsun refused to lower her pride.

Yongsun stands idly as Byulyi enveloped her in a tight embrace—in the warmth she’d been craving since the week she started avoiding her best friend. She really should be better than this. She thinks as she brings her own arms around Byulyi’s back, burying her face in Byulyi’s neck.

“Let’s not fight like this again, please?” She hears Byulyi plead. And she nods as she hums in agreement.

———

Yongsun is a stubborn, yet, a thorough person. Being assertive was one of the traits that brought her to where she is now—success. She would never act impulsively without considering the circumstances. And so, despite everything she’s said and done, she never really had the courage to say what was dying to be said.

And before she even could, someone had already beat her to it, leaving a bitter aftertaste in her tongue when she said:

“ _I’ll be rooting for you two_.”

**\----------------------**

_SKKU* –_ Sungkyunkwan University

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I actually posted online. Honestly, it's nerve-wracking because I don't know if it'll be up to your tastes. Nonetheless, feel free to leave comments! Thanks for reading. 
> 
> Also for clarification, unfortunately, this is just a oneshot. I might have forgotten to mention it before. Although, I MIGHT write a version where we can see Byul's perspective.


End file.
